As part of the process of building structure into my life, I have recently committed to eating home cooked meals. Over this summer, I have indulged in eating out pretty much 75% of my meals. As you can imagine, eating food that is loaded with fat, salt and sugar has not been good on my body.
Lately, I finally got to a point where my weight gain over the last few weeks progressed into a health issues. Yes, I was bummed as my clothes started getting tight. I kept telling myself that I could control eat it but I did nothing different. Finally my body started rebeling. My back has been hurting a lot lately. I feel sluggish. I’m just not happy with the way my body feels from a physiological point of view.
Today is like day 4 of my home cooked journey and I feel like shit. I feel like I’m going through withdrawal from junk food. I have a mean headache, the attention span of a fly and a general lack of energy. As I power through this slump, I’m almost tempted to buy a can of soda and get back on a sugar high. However, I know that this is not the solution I need. I never realized giving up junk food could be this hard. Maybe it is because I’m conscious of my body at the moment that I can feel the slump.
I’m committed to staying the course and recovering from my eating out phase. Instead of buying soda today, I had a few peaches to make me feel better. I have also been having tea today to make this transitional period easier. I’m excited to regain my energy level and start exploring yoga again. I can feel the 30 days of yoga series from Yoga with Adrienne calling my name.
I feel like I took a life break. Earlier in the year, I felt overwhelmed. I felt like I was drowning. Somehow the only way to save myself was to make these choices and I made those choices. I think I made good choices. But making those choices changed my life in a good way. But when you are going through a period of growth, everything I can feel tough.
I felt depressed. I felt like I might have made a mistake. How do you quit a job that you have loved so fiercely? How do you stop and take a new path? How do I support myself through school? Who gives up the security of a job for the uncertainty of starting over again?
I did. I quit my job. I started taking classes to become a nurse. I did it and I don’t feel have ever made a better choice. But, I was still terrified. I stopped eating and cooking properly. I stopped dressing up like I used to. I wasn’t sleeping as well. I stressed out. It took this life break for me get over the anxiety that came with this new journey. I had to learn to trust my decision. I had to trust myself.
And for the first time in about 3 months, I feel like I am ready to get back to me. I am not sure getting back to me is the right phrase. The fact is I feel like I have learned so much about myself in the past 3 months. This summer has been a moment of enlightenment. I have fallen deeply in love with who I am. I have moved closer to my authentic self. I have discovered old and new dreams. I have done and I am doing things that I always wanted to do. I am thankful for the time I took to just be.
Now that I am, I am ready to create some structure in my life once more. I want to focus on doing again. I want to get back to cooking and eating properly. I want to grow financially. I want to write my blog again. I want to live out my life glamorous once more.
Life break is over. I am ready.