The Interim

It is the New Year…Resolutions abound. I’m going to work out. I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to find the perfect partner. I want to cook more. These are all things I have thought of during this transitional time and many others. Inevitably, I’m defeated by the might of my own goal. I find myself making excuses. Then, I give up.
This year, I am taking a different approach. I’m going to give up the quest for perfection and live today. I’m going to live my life where I am today. Everyday, I’ll do the things I want to do instead of waiting for the perfect tomorrow. For me, this has been a very important decision to make.

I find myself wallowing in self pity because I am not where I think I need to be in order to do things I want to do. I want to sew more but I don’t because I don’t have the skills I need. I want to have a more fashion forward style but I resist because I despise my current shape. I want to cook more but it makes me sad that I have no one to feed. I want to write more about health and fitness but I don’t because I don’t have enough knowledge I presume.

I have a reason why not for every dream. The reason not to is often grounded in the imperfection of who I am today. The realization I have had though is that perfection is a moving goal that is crafted out of doing. If I don’t do, I won’t move the needle any closer.

I have always lived my life waiting. The wait gets longer and I spend that time unhappy. I can’t do that anymore. If there is anything I have learned, it is that life is unpredictable and the moment to live is now. Not later, not 20 pounds lighter or a nursing degree in hand…now is better than then, no matter how imperfect it all seems.

This year, 2018, my commitment is to live my life in the interim. I pledge to make the clothes. I promise to dress daringly. I intend to speak on women’s health passionately. I solemnly swear to live each day as I am.

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