and David Oyelowo face came on the screen sucking me into the movie “Selma.” After much debate with myself over the last few days, I finally mustered the will to get out of my house this morning and go see the movie. ‘Selma’ is a movie that I had anticipated for while. there was no way I was going to miss it because of the big media push that the cast had been making from magazine covers to talk-show. Plus, as an African living who is Boston who is just really starting to gain consciousness of what it means to be Black in America, I felt I had to go watch this. Of course, the danger in watching a movie like ‘Selma’, when you are uneducated about the Civil Rights Movement like I am, is that there is that line between the dramatization of real events and the reality of the events that gets all muddled up in the name of making great movie. It is a good thing I have been following the media push enough to know that the speeches in the movie are not real because the Dr. King’s estate chose not let the movie makers use them.

Even with all of this caveats, watching ‘Selma’ was an evocative experience. It made me realize that there is much progress that has been made in racial relations in America. I think especially in this age of systemic injustices that are represented by Ferguson and the many other instances, it is easy to let anger cloud the fact that much progress has been made. The flip side of this is that it made me realize how much more still needs to be done in terms of equality and justice for all. ‘Selma’ is a heavy movie. It is the kind of movie that is designed cause introspection. It is designed to inspire if you choose to be inspired. It is designed to educate.

Beyond the loftier goals of the movies, the acting of the ‘Selma’ cast was superb. To be honest, I really wanted to go to the bathroom 20 minutes into the movie but I was so spellbound that I did not do so until the movie ended. There is something about the elocution of David Oyelowo channeling Martin Luther King that is amazing to watch. The cadence is laced with dignity and often times the heaviness of despair. I found that the most powerful moment where not the ones where his voice was booming but the quiet whispers of a personal conversation with another. There is a point where Mr. Oyelowo’s character talks to an ADA about his personal security. His eyes and his soft speech said so much more than could ever be said in the words. I think that is what I loved most about this movie in terms of entertainment. The full-bodied portrayal of these strong personalities. The dignity that Carmen Ejogo carried into her portrayal of  Coretta Scott King was amazing. I wanted to see so much more of her during and after the movie. I really loved seeing a cast that featured some of the biggest black actors in America. Plus, there are so many new faces in there that I hope this movie is a vehicle for them to get into other movies and bring some diversity to the screen.

this is the other thing struck also watching ‘Selma’, how did the spouses and the families cope with their love ones away fighting for justice across the world.Watching Carmen Ejogo made me realize that a Coretta Scott King movie would be amazing. Beyond the spouses, I wanted to know more about the big players in the Dr. King’s group. I was a bit lost when I read a review of ‘Selma’ in the past and the critic mentioned that the movie just points out so many other great stories of the Civil Rights Era that have yet to be told. Now I understand and I am of the same opinion that there is so much that still needs to be told. ‘Selma’ was just a chapter in a long storybook that is the Civil Rights Era.

Of course I have been obsessively listening to John Legend and Common’s song for the movie, Glory.

Sloppy Gratitude

And the fear

of being heard


until nothing

       but a murmur

        was heard

to live consciously. That has been my goal in life for a long time. I remember being asked what my greatest goal in life is. to be happy. to be content. to not constantly be seeking. Sometimes I do a great job at that. I am content. I am filled with gratitude. But when does gratitude and contentment become sloppy? When you can’t be bothered to reach just a little higher because what you have seems like plenty. Sometimes I feel like I am lazy. I feel like I don’t work hard enough. How can everyone else be achieving and I am just okay having just enough? When I think about it closely though, I recognize the pattern. The fear of failure. If I don’t try I won’t fail. If I don’t reach out, I won’t be rejected. That is not contentment. It is fear. It is settling because I am afraid to hope for more. I miss the child I use to be. I miss being fearless. I miss believing that I could do anything. I miss the days before I started noticing that success does not look like me. I miss the times when I did not realize that there was more to making it than just constantly putting in hard work. In those days, I won’t have seen the obstacles. I would have seen the high of achieving something great. But I now I need to break the first barrier. I need to break that perception that I can’t. I can. I can. If I keep remembering I can, I will. I need to be the first person to believe in “I can.”





Happy New Year!

Every year since I can remember, I give myself a lists of things that I want to accomplish. Then,  I do nothing. Last year, shortly after my 28th birthday, my sister turned 30 and had a grand trip in Europe. The frenzy of her big milestone, made me realize mine is in a couple of years. It made me realize that I could not let my twenties be a decade of amazing ideas that died due to lack of follow through. I decided to chase all those things that I have let go because they are impossible to achieve. I want my twenties to be about breaking new grounds in life. Exploring what it means to live a fulfilled life.

I am really good at giving other people advice but not so good about following them. I remember when one of my good friends wanted to move to Nigeria and it just seemed impossible. I remember one conversation we had where it seemed like everything she needed to do in order to be able to move was impossible. All she could see was roadblocks. I said to her on that day “for you I wish the impossible.”

For me, I wish the impossible. Impossible for me has been many things over my life. The overwhelming one has been the sense that I am not good enough, not worthy, not well equipped.  I have always managed to find the reason why not. But I realize that reasons exist because I have created them out of fear. What if I saw my perceived obstacles and saw them as stepping stones. Like a ledge in a smooth wall that allows me to climb and reach higher.

This blog is going to be my journey #chasingimpossible!

*I had so much I wanted to do with this post since it is my first one. I wanted to add a picture or a great quote. But I have been sick and working full-time since Christmas. I did not want to start the new year with excuses so I am going to go ahead and publish this.