Creativity and Boredom

successful creative life requires a high tolerance for boredom and repetition.

It is the long weekend here in the United States because of Thanksgiving. The turkey, or goat meat, has been eaten.  Tables have been cleared and the fridge is heaving with leftovers. I am getting back to the business of life via binge watching Youtube.

I have watched so many beauty tutorials, I feel like I can blend out my crease while sleeping and still have a flawless finish. I have recently gotten back into watching beauty tutorials because I have recently started falling back in love with myself. Every time I get sucked into the black hole that is Youtube, it always amazes how much growth that platform has experienced.

My adventure with Youtube started 10 years ago. I remember watching Panacea81  channel back in the days. She was the one that really got me to think about buying brushes instead of using the tiny brushes that came with the makeup kit. Of course, times have changed now on Youtube. There are now thousands and thousands of beauty vloggers alone. There are all sorts of categories of Youtube channels.

Today, while I was watching Nikkie Tutorials channel, she mentioned that she had been making Youtube videos for 9 years. It occurred to me that I don’t think I have committed to anything for that long in my life. As I hopped through channels, I realized that the vloggers that I like are the ones that have been doing it for a long time. They are the ones that have built their contents even when they were making no money off it.

I have made an effort to seek out new Youtube beauty channels. When I say new, I mean channels that are just coming up. I love watching Kyra Knox these days. I am also a fan of Joulezy. These are channels that haven’t cracked the PR list for the most part yet or built a massive audience yet.

As I watch these women who are bravely starting channels and consistently putting themselves out there, I am inspired to figure out how I want to present myself to the world. I have filmed videos intending to start a Youtube channel for years and I back down because I am too scared to put myself out into the world in that way. I have walked away from blogs and deleted blogs because I am more comfortable with admitting defeat than imagining success.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic came on my radar, a couple of weeks back, via my friend Bukky. Big Magic is a book that explores being creative through fear. I haven’t gotten around to reading the book yet. Instead, I have been listening to her podcast. It has made me realize that living a successful creative life requires a high tolerance for boredom and repetition. Sometimes, I imagine that as a creative person everything I do will be exciting and groundbreaking. The truth is that in order to be creative and develop the skills I need to execute at a higher level, I need to be okay with failing and repeating the same things until I get it right. I need to be okay with being ok instead of being great. I need to realize that building audience takes time. I need to accept that there is no perfect time to start being creative.

The other day I was on the Ipsy Facebook page when I saw a video that inspired me. The video was a collaboration with Maryam Remias. Maryam Remias is an older woman with grey hair and tips dyed a vibrant purple. She is not what anybody would assume to be the target audience for make-up but she clearly is interested so she has a Youtube channel doing tutorials for older women. Watching her on the Ipsy page made me realize there is no bad time to tap into my interests and creativity. There is not a tipping point where I am suddenly qualified to start chasing my dreams.

I don’t know where I am heading creatively with this blog yet. However, I do know that I am going to try my best to keep showing up. I have to do it for myself to exercise that consistency muscle. Eventually, I hope I’ll find my rhythm and my path would be clearer than it is now.

In the meantime, I have to go back to Youtube and catch up with Shameless Maya who inspires me every day to live my life vicariously. I have to see what slay Jackie Aina has created for my black skin. Maybe when I am done, I’ll fall asleep listening to Kina Grannis.

A Good Day in Boston!

I have been really busy lately with work. I feel like I have ramped up my life because there is no other way to get the things I want if I don’t work hard. I am more invested in my work and I am consciously trying to go. This has left me feeling overwhelmed sometimes. I just feel like I am always tired and I am not able to focus on the other things that I have going on in life. I have spent part of the last month doing yoga to help me center myself. I think I need to get back on my mat and show up for myself.

This week, I have two days off in a row. In retail speak, it is like having a mini-vacation. Instead of staying home as I normally would, I got out and had a good day in Boston. I started my day with a Skype session with an old friend that I have not spoken to in a while. We spoke about nothing important but just connecting and having someone I have known for a while be here was so uplifting. Then I hit the town.

I started the day out going to a new fast food place. I had gotten into this rot of always going to Five Guys whenever I feel like getting a bite in Downtown Boston. Today, I went to Piperi, a lovely Middle Eastern fast food joint. There are like a Middle Eastern version of Chipotle. I enjoyed my falafel salad bowl very much. Then I went to see Pixar’s Inside Out in 3D. I cried watching that movie because I felt like it spoke to a lot of the issues I deal with emotionally. I came out of it understanding that being sad is not bad. Change is not bad. And that is something I am never too old to learn.

After the movie, I hit up the Boston Public Market. I really loved my trip there because I am super into retail and conscious living/choices. It was so cool to see so many local producers in one place. I loved seeing all the local meat as well. I am excited to try some of the turkey sausage that I bought there. After visiting the market, I did a spot of grocery shopping for my lunch this week and came home.

It was such an amazing day and I feel a wonderful kind of tiredness in my bones. I am excited to stay home tomorrow and clean my house. While I am sitting here typing this spontaneous missive, I have been listening to Archduke’s ‘Ama be happy.’ This is a band I discovered from one of my favorite vlogging couple, Jamie and Nikki. It is a song that has been stuck in my head a while. I just love repeating it to myself “Ama be happy/ Ama Be Good/You Better Believe it.”

Enjoy the rest of your week!